Yes, these are of course Frank J's (www.imao.us) Frank facts about Fred Thompson that we've all come to love. But, upon scrutiny I contend that these fun facts might might actually apply to a much greater degree to Michelle Malkin. Am I right?
AWESOME FACTS ABOUT Michelle Malkin
* The masked executioner of Saddam Hussein: Michelle Malkin.
* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Michelle Malkin.
* The Fremen consider "Michelle Malkin" a killing word.
* Michelle Malkin's gaze can kill small animals.
* The actual cause of global warming: Michelle Malkin's burning rage.
* Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Michelle Malkin.
* Michelle Malkin once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.
* Scientists predict that when Michelle Malkin dies she'll explode taking out the five nearest planets before collapsing into a black hole.
* At a campaign stop, a Belgian Hound tried to hump Michelle Malkin's leg. That breed of dog no longer exists.
* If you purchase a weather radio, it will wake you up with an alarm to warn you when Michelle Malkin is pissed off.
* An abortion doctor tried to kill Michelle Malkin when she was still in the womb, but she cut off the man's hand with scalpel while shouting, "Do you know who I am? I'm Michelle Malkin!!"
* Webster's Dictionary defines "conservatism" as "how closely one's views resemble those of Michelle Malkin."
* Michelle Malkin's sense of strategy is so great that she can checkmate you using only a pawn and a knight.
* Michelle Malkin can know both the exact position and momentum of a particle. Furthermore, she knows Schroedinger's cat is dead because she personally strangled it.
* The most efficient airline security is to have Michelle Malkin stare down everyone entering a plane.
* When terrorists get to the afterlife, they'll find that none of their seventy-two women are still virgins. Why? Because of Michelle Malkin.
* Michelle Malkin can open clamshell packaging without the slightest trouble.
* Why does Iran want nuclear weapons? Out of fear of Michelle Malkin.
* Some versions of the Bible have Mathew 5:5 read, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth... unless Michelle Malkin wants it."
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