Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Did you know this about Michelle Malkin?

Yes, these are of course Frank J's (www.imao.us) Frank facts about Fred Thompson that we've all come to love. But, upon scrutiny I contend that these fun facts might might actually apply to a much greater degree to Michelle Malkin. Am I right?


* The masked executioner of Saddam Hussein: Michelle Malkin.

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Michelle Malkin.

* The Fremen consider "Michelle Malkin" a killing word.

* Michelle Malkin's gaze can kill small animals.

* The actual cause of global warming: Michelle Malkin's burning rage.

* Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Michelle Malkin.

* Michelle Malkin once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.

* Scientists predict that when Michelle Malkin dies she'll explode taking out the five nearest planets before collapsing into a black hole.

* At a campaign stop, a Belgian Hound tried to hump Michelle Malkin's leg. That breed of dog no longer exists.

* If you purchase a weather radio, it will wake you up with an alarm to warn you when Michelle Malkin is pissed off.

* An abortion doctor tried to kill Michelle Malkin when she was still in the womb, but she cut off the man's hand with scalpel while shouting, "Do you know who I am? I'm Michelle Malkin!!"

* Webster's Dictionary defines "conservatism" as "how closely one's views resemble those of Michelle Malkin."

* Michelle Malkin's sense of strategy is so great that she can checkmate you using only a pawn and a knight.

* Michelle Malkin can know both the exact position and momentum of a particle. Furthermore, she knows Schroedinger's cat is dead because she personally strangled it.

* The most efficient airline security is to have Michelle Malkin stare down everyone entering a plane.

* When terrorists get to the afterlife, they'll find that none of their seventy-two women are still virgins. Why? Because of Michelle Malkin.

* Michelle Malkin can open clamshell packaging without the slightest trouble.

* Why does Iran want nuclear weapons? Out of fear of Michelle Malkin.

* Some versions of the Bible have Mathew 5:5 read, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth... unless Michelle Malkin wants it."

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